The way things pass…

I don’t know how to begin this story. Actually, I want to tell you what happened on the train. It wasn’t a first for me. It happened to me only one other time but it’s been years since that incident occurred.

My friend and I were on the “E” train heading home after an excellent work out at the Crunch gym on 13th Street. A Chinese woman sat down next to me. My friend and I were talking and then a sound like a wet heavy rubber deflating in fresh pudding came from the Chinese woman, which caused us to stop talking. I looked at my friend, my friend looked at me. The sound wasn’t loud but it was audible. I asked her, “Did you hear that?” My friend confirmed she did. I could not believe that woman let one rip. No, that’s not correct. She ripped it. That’s right; I think she forced that sucker out. The sound that fired out did not sound relaxed. It sounded like the gas passed through a tight exit if you know what I mean.

AND it SMELLED – BAD! I had to fan that fart away, waving my hands in front of my nose. That woman had no shame. Couldn’t she gauge that the fart was going to make a sound? I’m surprised she didn’t shit herself.

The first time someone farted next to me was a rather gross one. She was a plump black woman who wedged herself in between me and another lady. She gently lifted her ass and thigh and let one bubble out. No sound and no smell but I felt the shockwave on the seat. Not a pleasant feeling to have when commuting and when sitting tightly against someone else.

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~ by thedailycommuter on Wednesday, January 9, 2008.

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