Commuter Etiquette

Etiquette Rules for the Everyday Commuter…
so we can all have a pleasant ride home.

  1. Loud cell phone talkers; LOWER YOUR VOICE!! Nobody is interested in your little drama or giggle-fest with the person on the other end. Do you talk that loud when you’re at home? Pretend you’re at the library or you’re telling someone a secret. Shhhhh!
  2. Nose picking; you can’t be discrete about it. I see you doing it! You think you’re being sly about inserting your finger tip up your nose and digging around for that mucus covered/crusted shit and then pulling it out. Once you have it between your index finger and thumb, you roll it to a tiny booger ball and drop it to the floor. That’s disgusting!
  3. Guys, offer your seats to the elderly and/or pregnant woman. Why is it that the ladies are offering their seats to the elderly and/or pregnant? Are there no men with any form of gallantry out there?
  4. Guys, put your foot down from your knee. Nobody wants to see what you stepped in or want a giant sole print on their leg. It’s obnoxious and again, nobody gives a damn about your sperm count (see last item). Instead, why don’t you aim that foot of yours at your date or friend as opposed to the stranger on the other side of you.
  5. Girls, stop flicking your damn hair. Nobody wants to take home a strand of your DNA or worse, any of the parasites you are carrying in your hair. Not to mention that you might hit someone in the mouth or eye with your hair.  See also #16 for additional comments.
  6. Take the seat that is available. Don’t ask someone to move over especially if they are napping on the train. That’s rude!
  7. When getting on the bus or train, watch where you are walking. Nobody likes to be stepped on even if it is by accident.
  8. When taking a seat next to someone, don’t throw or slam your body into the seat! You’re actually hitting the person next to you and they don’t appreciate it.
  9. Say “Excuse me” when attempting to pass people, or to get their attention. If they do not respond, address the person “Sir” or “Miss” or “Ma’am” and repeat “Excuse me”.
  10. Walk on the right side, pass on the left.
  11. Don’t put your bags on the empty seat next to you; most likely, someone will sit down next to you so get used to the fact.
  12. The buses and trains are “public” transportation but it isn’t your home! Save your nail clippings for your bathroom.
  13. Take your trash, food and drink containers, and newspapers with you when you leave the train.
  14. Men, unless you have a serious medical condition, sit with your legs closed. Nobody is going to give you a lap dance and nobody cares about your sperm count.
  15. When waiting for the bus, if there is a line, get in line!  Don’t try to cut to head and pretend you’re looking at the bus schedule.  Get in line like everybody else who is standing in line.
  16. Don’t brush your hair if and when you are sitting or standing next to someone on the train or bus.  Nobody wants to be dusted with your deadskin cells, or skin mites, or loose hair strands home with them.  See also #5 for additional comments.
  17. Cover your mouth when you yawn.  Nobody wants to see the inside of your mouth, or be hit with your nasty breath if you’re one of those people who don’t realize you have bad breath.
  18. Be mindful of your wet umbrella when you are in a crowded bus and train.

11 Responses to “Commuter Etiquette”

  1. You must have been reading my mind. Here are some other things that some people may find annoying:

    Please don’t brush the crumbs from your morning roll or bagel onto my lap. I’ll get my own breakfast, thank you.

    Guys, don’t plug your razor into the utility outlet and begin shaving – your bathroom at home is meant for this purpose.

    Ladies, please stop snapping your gum with your teeth (it sounds worse than the nail clipping).

  2. i love it when readers contribute!

  3. When you board the train, move inside. To the giant empty space in the middle of the car. Don’t stand with park yourself in the doorway, with your back to everyone, pretending you don’t see us trying to get on behind you.

  4. So true, Tracy.

    and if they’re not going to move in, then step aside so people can move into the middle of the train or bus.

  5. (regarding the MBTA in Boston) If you are the last person to walk into the train car close the down behind you! Also, if you choose to sit in the seat next to the door have the courtesy to close it if someone leaves it open.

  6. […] popular blogs and articles relishing–er–reprimanding rude and ridiculous habits of MTA & other transit passenger […]

  7. Thank you for all these comments…….you’ve cheered my day so wonderfully!

  8. If you want to put your seat back so that you are going to basically sleep in my lap, ask first, don’t shout “coming back,” and expect me to be happy about it. And certainly don’t call me rude and say I have no respect for others when I don’t let you lay in my lap. There is a limited amount of space, and your comfort is not paramount to mine, nor is mine to yours. We should all try and be comfortable

  9. I’ve had two older ladies yell at me, on 2 separate occasions, for brushing my hair on the train/bus, even though I was surrounded by empty seats & both ladies were sitting several feet away. I don’t get it. I’m nowhere near you. How could I possibly be bothering you?

    Thing is, neither lady actually said I was bothering her. They said I was being “inappropriate,” & that brushing your hair “is a private thing.” And then proceeded to yell at me and make a big public spectacle of it. One lady kept yelling, “Who raised you to behave like this?” then called me a bitch several times, and then took a picture of me, promising to post it online.

    I’m inappropriate? You’re the one yelling & cursing at a total stranger & taking pictures to post online for the express purpose of humiliating me. Who raised YOU to behave like this? People do things that annoy me all the time. I don’t curse at them & start public fights with them & then post it on YouTube; I go gossip about them privately with my friends. Who raised you?

    So what do you think, guys? Am I wrong to occasionally brush my hair for a few minutes on the bus/train, when I’m surrounded by empty seats & the nearest person is several feet away? Or are these ladies just relics from another time, when women didn’t even wear jeans on the subway?

  10. Unless you’re going to clean up after yourself of the hair, dandruff, and whatever bits that come off your scalp and brush you shouldn’t be brushing your hair on public transportation even though nobody is sitting around you.

    You don’t know how often I see strands of hair left on train seats. It’s disgusting.

    You can argue that public transportation seats and propriety are disgusting and has lots of germs anyways, and I’ll agree with you. But you know what? If people were mindful of what they do on public transportation, then it would be less gross and disgusting.

    People like you who think nothing but themselves have no dignity and oblivious of what your actions may cause.

    I commend those women who called you out on brushing your hair in public. Being mindful of others and understanding that we all share the public space is never outdated. It is timeless.

  11. Attention non-commuters! Don’t get on the train in the rush hour and then loudly comment that you’re “glad you don’t do this every day”. Every other squashed soul on the train does exactly that, and would be happier if you didn’t do it ANY day.

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